Va'ani Tefilati: May I Be My Prayer

Rabbi David E. Ostrich, Congregation Brit Shalom
Clergy Column for The Centre Daily Times
Published April 17, 2003  

With what do we come before the Lord? What does God want from us? 

From ancient days until the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 CE, the Hebrew/Israelite/Jewish answer was “with sacrificial offerings.” Our people would prepare meat, grain, and oil into sacred meals and then eat them in honor of God and share them with the Priests. Whether in tribal gatherings or in the Temple of the Lord in Jerusalem, sacrificial worship brought us close to the Lord. 

After the Temple was destroyed by the Romans, the new situation necessitated a new form of worship. Following the basic pattern of the sacrificial worship service, the Rabbis developed a prayer service in which a main prayer takes the place of the sacrifice. This main prayer is now known as the Amidah, the standing prayer, with nineteen blessings on weekdays and seven blessings on Shabbat. As scholars of the Torah, the Rabbis also included a section of Torah study. And so, for almost 2000 years, we have come before the Lord with prayer and with study. 

Through the years, however, many thinkers have expanded the discussion beyond the form of the worship service. The Hebrew Prophets of the Bible insisted that ritual alone is not enough for God—that the Lord also demands righteousness and morality. As the Prophet Amos proclaims, ritual propriety mixed with societal dishonesty disgusts our Lord: “Spare me the sound of your hymns, and let Me not hear the music of your lutes, but let justice well up like water, righteousness like a mighty stream.” (Amos 5.23-24) When the Prophet Micah summarizes what is most important to God, ritual is merely an implication of a relationship with God: “It has been told you, O Human, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you: Only to do justice, to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6.8) Rituals are only acceptable if the worshippers behave righteously in their daily lives. 

There is also what we could call a pietistic theme in many spiritual texts: ritual forms need to be filled with sincerity and respect. As David prays in Psalm 19.15, “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” If we want our prayers to be l’ratzon, acceptable, how do we make them so? The basic answer is that we must pray with kavannah, with spiritual focus. In Psalm 51.17, we even pray to be able to pray: “Eternal God, open my lips that my mouth may declare Your glory.” 

There is also the necessity of humility. “You do not want me to bring sacrifices; You do not desire burnt offerings. True sacrifice to God is a contrite spirit; O God, You will not despise a contrite and crushed heart.” (Psalm 51.18-19)  

Or, as the author of the 12th Century Hymn of Unity elaborates: “What have I asked, and what have I sought, but that you revere Me? To serve with joy and a good heart; behold, to hearken is better than sacrifice, and a broken heart than a whole offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. I will build an altar of the broken fragments of my heart, and will bow my spirit within me. My broken spirit—that is Your sacrifice; let it be acceptable upon Your altar. I will proclaim aloud Your praise; I will declare all Your wonders. 

Or, as the Baal Shem Tov explains, “There is no room for God in those who are full of themselves.”  

I believe that religious ritual is important, but, above and beyond the ritual details is the human aspiration to lift ourselves into God’s Presence and be accepted and loved. Our long tradition of prayers and rituals represents our intense and deep desire to live in a positive and loving relationship with Divine. With what do we come before the Lord? With ourselves—our deepest and most sincere selves. As the Psalmist says, “Va’ani tefilati…/May I be my prayer…” (Psalm 69.14)